Brett v World round 2: the steam-rollin man

Lonliness; drunk or sober, I've never been more willing to strike up a conversation with a stranger in my entire life. I think Lonliness is healthy in that it provokes outgoing behavior, whether you are discussing anti-semitism with a neo-nazi or having boring "travel" chit-chat with some lame Euro-teenster. Then again, maybe I'm just going a little insane. Sorry. I promised myself I wouldn't get too cerebral on the second blog that I've ever created.


Hello Everyone!
Thanks for tuning in once again to my feable attempts to articulate exactly how wonderful and not wonderful my experiences have been over the last few weeks. Lets see, so I departed from Berlin after staying there for precisely one week. As with any city that you enjoy, this is always the hardest part because it involves leaving behind something you have just learned to love for something new that you are expected to love. Where did this take me? Dresden.

Oh boy, did we (the Allies) bomb the shit out of this town in WWII. However, surprisingly, it's very difficult to distinguish between original medieval churches and recreated ones. Anyways, besides meeting a few Brasilians to hit the bars with (and they couldn't drink for shit), I found myself mostly exploring all of Dresden alone, which meant a decrease in the PARTY levels, which were probably a little too high anyway. Actually, after Berlin it was a relief to go to bed sober and wake up without a sore bladder and a dire need to piss. It was also a little more boring.

Dresden was the perfect blend of tourists, businessmen, and gutterpunks. I'm not kidding when I say that gutterpunks (you know the 'punks' that dye their 'punk' hairdos crazy colors and pierce weird body parts and wear JNCOS) would walk side by side with young, sleezy-looking Armani business 'execs' up and down the cobblestone streets, while tourists take pictures of themselves in front of post offices and stop signs- too busy to notice anything about the demographics of the culture or anything outside of what would make a good photo-op. Very unique town.

After departing from Dresden, I went to a little town called Prague that is supposedly in Eastern Europe and noone has ever heard of (sarcasm). In fact, I realized that Prague is THE place for rich old westerners to brag about having been to "Eastern Europe," and act like they are the Columbus of the affluent in discovering the other side of the world. These rich old tourists act as if they just traveled to fucking Burma as representatives of the 'rebels' of their generation. Goddammit, old folks, Prague is beautiful, young, historical, and so much more than your bragging accessory that states how 'bold' you are. Ooops. Sorry. I must stay positive.

Anyway, after arriving in Prague (said in a snooty English accent... try it, it's fun), I immediately fell in love with the city (as well as the women). Eating goulash, dumplings, and drinking a refreshing pilsner, while admiring a fairy-tale castle out of a goddam disney movie sure isn't the most terrible encounter you've ever experienced. Furthermore, as an American, things only got better when a local bar had playoff baseball on 'ESPN America' and the bartender, who didn't speak English, was ok with keeping the bar open until 7 in the morning so that I could watch the Rockies lose live. I was the only person in the bar after about 4 am and continued buying pints of pilsner Urquell for $1 US, as well as plenty of shots for the bartender and I (he got increasingly more into baseball as I got drunk with him), and we sparked an amazing multicultural, non-lingual, non-gay, drunken,...mutual love for the Colorado Rockies. Gotta love baseball.

Moving on, I emerged from Prague as a new man, and left for Olomauc, Czech as happy as I've been on the entire trip. Not only did I sit next to a smokin Czech babe who spoke english on the bus, but I was traveling with my new (and current) Danish travel buddy Andes. At that point I realized that the further east I went the local girls were getting more attractive and the local guys were getting less attractive. And I... of course getting more attractive, duh.

Olomauc (google image it) was the first truly non-tourist, off-the-map, small town that I have ventured to. Boring right? Well maybe a little, but it was nice to relax and soak in "miniature Prague" as its known. There was a huge student-base in the town, and everyone loved getting drunk as much as I do (there's not much else to do there). The hostel I stayed at was basically an Australian household that let me sleep and get drunk with them (not get drunk and sleep with them), and it was simply amazing.

OK, I'm doing pretty well so far writing this blog. After my first one I received an immediate email from my mother saying "I THOUGHT WHAT HAPPENED IN AMSTERDAM STAYED IN AMSTERDAM!!" ... Apparently my first international blog debut came out a little too explicit for relatives. For this reason, I have mitigated or eliminated my tales of sex, drugs, and rock n roll because those stories are juvenile, immature, and completely unbecoming. I'm pretty classy so its alright.

Moving on, I arrive at my current location, a little place called Krakow, located in Poland for all you non-Pollocks. Jesus, I swear the demographics of the city are 75% hot classy looking girls wearing tight designer jeans and stylish boots; 20% guys that are probably the luckiest assholes in the world; 4.999% mix between old people and ugly people (the scrubs); and .001% ME. And goddammit if that isn't the best .001% of a population, then I don't know what is.

Aside from the hordes of pretty women, I really enjoyed seeing the city of Krakow, especially because it started snowing violently upon my arrival. Although Europeans are intelligent and beautiful, they sure are pussies when it comes to cold weather. Who the fuck uses an umbrella in the middle of a rowdy, sideways snowstorm? The answer is everyone in Krakow, including the guys (they have to protect their stylish, gel-filled Euro-perms). Seems weird and a little pointless to me, but hey I'm from Colorado, what the hell do I know. Anyway, it was nice to see a little snow and certainly made the castles and churches more picturesque than they already were.

Finally there was today. Me, my Danish buddy Andes, and an Australian gal made the trip out to see Auschwitz and Berkinau concentration/elimination camp. Wow. It's pretty much impossible to make any sort of joke or light-hearted comment about what I saw today. The fact that a mere 60 years ago humanity was capable of committing and LETTING someone commit the atrocities of the Holocaust makes me choke down my beer a little bit more quickly. End of story.

Alrighty then, thanks for making it to the end of my second blog, "the steam-rollin man." Thanks for reading, and I just want to reiterate that I really do miss everyone! A lot! Like I said, please let me know whats crackin back in the US and I'll try to do the same. The next stranger you meet, whether it be a bum, a customer, a supermodel, or peter-fuckin-pan, strike up a conversation with them- it's strangely exhilirating and has completely changed how I travel, and more importantly, how I interact with people. As Jack Kerouac says (I just read On the Road) "Aren't you tired enough of yourself by now?". And he talked to the girl on the bus.

Overout.